The Mirror

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and tried to find beauty in her looks tried to change her appearance studied every magazine and book. She still wasn't quite satisfied to her, she looked plain she longed to be noticed instead of always looking the same. Her family told her she was pretty but she still did not believe stood in front of that mirror everyday trying to see what they did see. Her self confidence was shattered and her eyes seemed so sad for she could not even understand all the beauty that she had. As she touched her fingers to the glass the pieces fell to the ground she opened her mouth to scream but she couldn't utter a sound. Her prize possesion was gone and she no longer had the mirror for no one even suspected it was her own true beauty that she feared   To Dad The angels sent for you and took you up to the sky I hope you heard me when I whispered goodbye. I know it was your time to go but I wish you were still with me it's hard living without you a part of me will always be missing. Everytime I close my eyes I can still see your smiling face giving me the comfort I need assuring me things will be ok. I saw you in my dreams last night and you wiped all my tears away and I woke up today with a new hope that I'll be with you again someday. Leaving Why should I go home when I can stay here and have the ocean waters wash away my tears. To feel like I belong to a whole different world where I'm a somebody instead of just an average girl. Where love constantly surrounds you and you can be who you really are leaving here is still too unthinkable leaving would be too hard. But I have to go home soon to my ordinary life and say goodbye to my memories that I'll always hold tight. Growing Up   All of those feelings that I used to have now seem so far away I no longer am that little girl everyone wished that I could be. Being innocent always seemed so easy to me, the perfect role to play couldn't you tell? I was always smiling but behind that laughter there were hidden tears.. I never wanted you to know the pain that I had suffered how was I supposed to tell you when in my heart I couldn't admit it even to myself? And here I am now all grown up but inside... the child is still in me. I wish I still was as innocent as I once claimed but I'm not... but would you still love me anyway? All About Me   People look at me and I wonder what they see a girl who is fulfilled a girl who has everthing she needs? a girl who always has a smile on her face? because that isn't me There are so many things I want but my fingers are unable to grasp I've experienced so much in my life I've done so many things that I can never take back i can't even remember how many times I wished I could turn back the clock so that I could say one final goodbye to all the people that I've lost or the many guys who have broken my heart. More than that, I wish I could heal my open wounds I can stand here and deny that I don't care about a broken heart but I would be lieing to myself yes....I do care and I always will It's a fact of life all my pains and strifes are a part of life. That's the way it has to be and noone can change the past or look ahead to the future Broken hearts,shattered dreams but still nobody realizes that they can't change the person they are or transform into the person they want to be And sometimes even I wonder if people want to change me or do they accept me for who I am the girl whose not perfect and never will be? MISS POPULAR   Miss popular walks aroud with her head held high miss popular guys faint as they watch her pass by. Miss popular never has a bad hair day Miss popular knows the right words to say. Miss popular she'll have you eating from the palm of her hand miss popular they listen and follow her every word and command. Miss popular never has to worry about getting a date miss popular never gets picked on for her past mistakes. Miss popular dates the hottest guy in the school miss popular doesn't bother to play by the rules. Miss popular seems to have the perfect life miss popular she parties all day and night. Miss popular never shows emotion on her face miss popular it hurts that all her friends are fake. Miss popular when's the last time she has cried? miss popular why did noone cared when her father died? Miss popular gets everyone's fake sympathy miss popular is everyone's friend in need. Miss popular has no real friends to call her own miss popular never seems to be alone Miss popular her heart is filled with pain oh miss popular how many of us feel the same! Miss popular you never gave any of us a chance miss popular you walked by us without a second glance Miss popular now you're left to suffer on your own miss popular.... how does it feel to be alone?? Blinded(reposting for comments)   The color of them was a deep shade of ocean blue it was the one thing everyone first noticed when they first saw you. I used to dream that I was your girl convinced that one day you'd notice me and for you I even dropped all my old friends to try out for cheerleading. At the games you'd look at me and wave and I wouldn't be able to concentrate I'd watch your feet glide across the court getting in the other girls way. One night it all began to happen it was the night of her party I sat there,alone,on the couch and you came and put your arm around me. I didn't pull away I had been waiting for so long for your touch,for your kiss didn't care if it was right or wrong. You pulled back and asked me if I wanted to leave I nodded and got my coat didn't stop to think. We drove around for an hour driving farther and farther away I asked you where we were going and you smiled and said someplace. You took me to an abandoned old house you said you had parties there sometimes I felt my heart pound I'd never been more nervous in my life. We started to kiss under the moonlight the stars were out shining strong and bright. Your hands were going further than I wanted them to I tried to tell you to stop this wasn't what I wanted to do. My mouth was covered I cried out in pain tried to get away but your arms restrained. Tears slipped down my cheeks not here, not now what did I do to deserve this? but I couldn't make a sound. My clothes were off so were yours I gasped for breath couldn't take the pain anymore. When I woke up it was daylight my clothes were on the ground looked around for you but you were nowhere to be found. I got a ride home ran to my parents and cried they were worried about where I was they were up all night. Went to the hospital I choked out that I was raped I was so humiliated,so upset would I ever be the same? If I had never had gotten into your car nothing would've ever happened last night but it wasn't my fault was it....? I was too blinded by your blue eyes. Change in my life   I need a change from my life want to go and explore the world maybe even take a roadtrip me and all my girls. No worries in sight we'll all be carefree I'll leave my worries behind and enjoy just being me. So many times in life we let opurtunities pass us by I will make something of myself without telling anyone why. I want to be more than just a face one day the world will know who I am then I'll be in all the magazines and drift back to teenybopper land. But in order to achieve this I have to start it now I have to do better in school bring my grades up somehow. I guess I just need a change... there's nothing around here to do living in the middle of nowhere doesn't make things easier too. So writing this poem makes me happy I'm getting it all off my chest change is what I'm gonna get for life's my biggest test.   Innocence    We were all innocent once life seemed to fly on by everything was given to us and we never once asked why. We never thought we were spoiled pushed it in the back of our minds along with the pains and sorrows that we all feel sometimes. You were always happy never had a reason not to be thought the world would never harm you you were jaded and naive. We all grow up sometimes some more quickly than others some are accepted within seconds and some are left to suffer. We know things are changing our environment isn't safe anymore have to make some tough choices that can leave our innocence torn. We take on many challenges strive to be the best but we still have yet to learn that life is our biggest test. We have to take every oppurtunity we can't let one pass us by suddenly we're not feeling so brave suddenly we're asking why. Our innocence is leaving almost as quickly as it came I'll just have to keep on remembering and hope others do the same.   CaN't LeT tHeM......   I need to learn to love myself and to accept who I am I try to tell others about my life but most of the time they don't understand. They see me and immeadiatly sterotype before I even open my mouth girls give me dirty looks all the time what exactly is that all about? They're intimidated by me thinking that I want their boyfriends I'm not like that, I swear to you I was just looking to meet new friends. Maybe people see me as shallow because of the name brand clothes I wear but I try my best to be kind to others with them though..I'm not getting anywhere. And just because I live in a nice house they assume that we never struggle as a family they don't know about my past, all the pain what right does anyone have to judge me? I am just me, I don't pretend to ever be anyone else I don't want to act like them I just want to be myself. It's hard for me to love myself when everyone tries to bring me down all I want is just for some piece of mind without all the accusations flying around. When they decided I was a horrible person I don't really know when it all started they have barely said 5 words to be... do you see how prejudiced some people are? They look at me and think I have a perfect life I really don't and they need to read between the lines because although I may smile and act ok deep inside I am not fine. Insults that people make and remarks that are said behind my back those words really hurt me.... don't you know that? How can I ever be the real me if I have to hide behind a mask? I'm scared to be who I really am because they'll still find something wrong with that. I hope there's someone else out there who feels similarly to me.... maybe they can tell me how to get through the week. I am so fed up with this and I'm losing my grip on reality no..I won't...I can't.... I can't let them get to me.   Losing My Identity   In a room full of people the music is turned up so loud I sit down on the leather couch above me is a constant grey cloud. No one makes an effort to say hello or to even ask me what is wrong all they see is just some girl.... who never attempts to get along. I watch all of them talk around me and I imagine that I am included too I close my eyes and in my mind I share the conversation with all of you. For I am just a lonely girl who was never offered a helping hand I am the one that they cast aside but I keep hoping they'll understand. I am unsure of how to approach you and I am scared that I won't fit in so for years I stood on the outside until finally..somebody let me in. Now that I'm here...what do I do? I want them to like me,to accept me but the more I sit here thinking this the more I am losing my identity....